*UPDATE (3-12-24): So even after multiple revamps of my latest income generating idea for myself & “Drat & Cat Suggest” I haven’t had a single dollar donated as of yet. Though even when a not particularly close friend of mine on Twitter puts out the call for help, I give all I can. I’ve always tried to that - even with people who actively hated me at the times I donated, for I wish no one ill will and we are supposed to be a #TTRPGFamily after all. But I’m outcast from that family, like a cat or dog put out for the night in the cold, worried & alone. Meanwhile I’m trying come down from one my meds, one that’s likely behind my weight gain, horrible cholesterol numbers, & muscle spasms and back lock ups, too. The smallest dose is 0.5 mg, so I have to come down 25% at a time so it’s only going to get harder from here (the drug has a 91-hour half-life. Meanwhile I realized if I was allowed to write “Mr. T” and he’d buy back my 40+ surplus of metal d20 dice at even 40% of their sale price it would help me significantly financially. One of my few friends & I concluded a stationary exercise bike would be my best bet for some exercise, and I’ve found one for around $250. Just the metal d20s at 40% would get me 2/3 of the way there, but I’m not allowed to write him, even professionally for business proposals. It’s my fault though. If I could go to a convention I could possibly sell the dice there, but im not an official business, I dont have the travel money, and even if I did I don’t want to compete against my former…. “colleagues”? I’m not sure what to call them, “friends” is inappropriate. I’d say boss but I was never hired as anything. Regardless I’d run into many of those who abandoned me based on nothing more than gossip without even asking my side of the story. Even one of the affiliates who now hate me asked for my side. I’ll have to keep thinking of other ways to make money I suppose, for this one seems a dud. Just like me. I dont think I make any difference at all, but I’ll keep trying I guess.

*UPDATE (3-7-24): Forgive the brevity of this entry but I’m not feeling well. I had a new primary care appointment yesterday with an FNP who was really cool as it turns out & even seems willing to provide the medications I need (formerly being provided by my physician of 15 years who was in a horrible accident & may never practice again). They took some vitals and some blood & it turns out I had a fever & my White Blood Cells (WBC) are WAY up and indicate some infection or virus which explains why I feel so sick and sh*tty. But I’m grateful I was able to get the care. I also made some peace with my ex-fiance by chat, and that heals me too a little bit - I don’t like being on a side other than his. And I caught up with another friend who is not only sick but just had a root canal, so it’s good I had to cancel my plans with her as we BOTH felt too bad. I also saw in my labs gang that my weight is affecting my health & I need to start exercise and a healthier diet. I probably can’t get much of anything done on my fundraiser today and maybe tomorrow too so I apologize for that in advance. BTW, I have a private Discord for Senior Peeps who are interested in joining, so PM me on Twitter or Discord or write me at dratheart1@yahoo.com & I’ll send you the invite link. I’m grateful for each & every one of you & hope y’all are well. I’m making the choice to celebrate what I do have, not focusing on what I don’t. It can always get worse, so me must appreciate our blessings while we have them. You are all blessings to me. I do miss the many people I had to unfollow or who unfollowed me because of my “me problems”. I never wanted to hurt any of you and I’m sorry I did. I especially miss “T”, one of the few men in years I’ve allowed myself to trust; I’m a very curious person by nature and I have so many questions and he always used to answer them. I don’t blame him, he didn’t sign up to be my mentor, just gave me a chance (one I squandered at that). Be good to each other Peeps, I love you. -Talia

*UPDATE (3-5-24): So why the “Drat & Cat Suggest” financial crisis? Well that question is, at least for now, synonymous with the, I, Talia Heart financial crisis. You may already be aware that I’m on Social Security Disability with both physical & mental illnesses. Until recently things were relatively okay for Hillary & I, despite our income being below the Federal Poverty Line. But, as you may also know, I recently lost a profitable affiliation due to my mental illness in part but mostly because I’ve never know, nor been able to learn, when to STFU. Despite this, they gave me some time to try & find an equally lucrative affiliation which I failed at. Part of me wonders if I was ever worthy of anyone’s help at all, if it was all just charity. Either way, I was treated about as well as I could be by a company. I’ve now been paid all money outstanding from that company, so that money is gone. Furthermore, because of that income, my housing assistance was reduced by $32 per month, and I can’t get that fixed until it’s up for review in October. My “All Bills Paid” apartment complex is also requiring us to all sign addendums to bill us for utilities starting next month (with no idea of how much more that will cost me). On top of that, the ACP (Affordable Connectivity Program) which for the last several years has given Americans like me a $30 credit towards free high-speed internet (that paid my plan bill completely). The ACP helps 17 MILLION Americans and was made a PERMANENT program two years ago. However, our US Congress can’t even pass a year budget bill, and so the ACP will end due to lack of them not appropriating any more money & we’ve been told April will be the last month we get the credit. The credit also helped keep internet prices low for ALL Americans by mandating affordable plans & more customers (75% of Americans who get the ACP credit have said they either definitely or possibly have to give up their home internet when the assistance runs out according to recent reporting). I obviously will have to keep my internet access given I’m a shut-in who needs it for telemedicine, ordering groceries, etc. But that’s another $30 I’m losing (maybe more, as plan costs may rise). Medications, of which I’m on many, have co-pays that are higher than ever this year, so that and other medical costs are taking a bite out of me, too. And as if all that wasn’t enough, my cat, business partner & mascot, Hillary is getting older (over 16 years old) and has progressive dementia; she’ll need more & more care & I must be able to give it to her. If I’d not be an idiot and disrespectful jerk at my last affiliation, I’d be able to bare these costs and still continue on “Drat & Cat Suggest” I have done, not just reviews here on my site but helping smaller content creators get bigger, matching folks who ask for help to people who can help them (sometimes just digging into my own pocket, even when I can’t afford it to help them myself), and giving as much as I can to creators on Patreon & subs/tips on Twitch, etc. And I’m ashamed of myself. Not just for all my past poor behavior, but for all the creators, artists, and people I’ve failed by getting myself cut off of the resources to help others (by losing the affiliation I did). And so here I am, hat in hand (so to speak), myself a beggar, in need of aid. I’m not better than anyone. I’m not special. I’ve hurt people, and intentionally or not, a thousand apologies doesn’t take away that hurt. Maybe I should fail and be erased from the internet, or even life, forever, I don’t know. I’ll offer the best gifts I can for donations at a fraction of their worth, and if that is enough to get me to the funding goal, then I’ll continue. I’ll keep working on becoming a better person who receives all others in kindness & help those I can to the best of my ability. If this fundraiser fails and I can’t think of a better idea, then “Drat & Cat Suggest” may well end, or at least be reduced solely to simple reviews. I’ve lost a lot of friends in the past months, most of whom I never said an unkind word to or about. One person who I even had a “shrine” to on this site. Many are afraid of working with me now. This site & the TTRPG Family are my only real purpose (aside from Hillary), a distraction I desperately need to keep my thoughts from falling into very negative territory. So I beg you all, not just for coin but for purpose, and mercy from those I’ve hurt. I’m not asking anyone to forget anything or forgive me, just tolerance as I work to improve myself. To those of you still with me: thank you so very much, you are my breath, my HP & I will always be grateful for you. Even if you can’t donate a single dollar, a kind word goes a long way for me (and even further with Hillary, meow!).

*UPDATE (2-21-24)(Moved from front page): Peeps I’ve taken down some content here on my website & deleted some Tweets in an effort to move forward & back into my proper place. Folks have the right (obviously) to hold whatever opinions, if any, they want about me. For my part, maybe I’m just warped, too damaged to interact with any “normal” people. I’m genuinely troubled that I apparently don’t see the boundaries most people see and I either do not see these boundaries or worse, don’t give enough consideration to ones I do see & consciously violate. I think I may to take a couple days break at least to re-evaluate circumstances I clearly don’t have a firm grasp of. I’m not expecting or asking for anything from any of you, unless you’ve maybe been where I am & have wisdom that may help; constructive criticism is welcome, too. I’ll take a little time to process things & maybe I go back to the start, back on game/product reviews here & participating in the conversations around TTRPGs on social media & Discords. I’ll try and help people if I can & they request it, but not or at least less so otherwise. I’ll try and do something quite hard for me: to speak/type less and listen more, at least for a while, and see how that goes. Please I know I’m not asking for any pity, I’ve had more chances than lots of folks have had & messed up a lot more; that’s on me. Thank you & Goddess bless you all. -Talia